Have Ought? (July 27, 2025)

Matthew 18:15–20 ~ “15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.””

The verses we have just read, many times, are completely overlooked or twisted to one side or the other, to make one person’s point of view over another. We must see what the Word of God is telling us about conflict.

Who likes conflict? None of us. I can hold my own when it comes to conflict and will stand on what I believe is the truth until the end of the story, why? That is just my personality.

But let us look at the what the Bible tells us to do when someone has wronged us. We find that if we are coming to the altar, to the church house for worship, and if there is something bothering us, something wrong, someone has wronged us, we need to STOP and make things right. If we know we have wronged someone, we need to STOP and make things right. This is reconciliation.

The urgency of reconciliation. Reconciliation is always to precede worship. Even when we are entering the church to worship, if there is a problem with a brother, we are to turn around from worship and go to our brother seeking reconciliation. There are four reasons why reconciliation is more important than worship.

Reconciliation with God is one of the major purposes for worship. A person worships in order to seek reconciliation and fellowship with God and His people. Therefore, God does not accept the worship of a person who holds malice against Him or against any of His people. Statements of the fact make the point perfectly clear.

• A break with another person means a break with God.
• Unforgiveness toward another person means unforgiveness by God.
• Not being right with another person means not being right with God.
• Broken fellowship with another person means broken fellowship with God.
• Bad feelings toward another person mean unacceptance by God.
• Anger against another person means rejection by God.

Bad feelings between believers hinder worship. Worship is meaningless unless a person is right with his brother. Reconciliation must always precede worship.

So, then the question comes to us as to HOW we are to do this. I will be completely open to you … most Church folks do NOT know this next part or don’t practice this. I can’t tell you how many times people have gotten mad at Sis. Kerri or I and leave the church; we reach out to the person in multiple ways and never know what happened. Then, low and behold, we will have people in the church start asking, why did “so and so” leave. We have no clue. Then a few months later, someone will come and say, “so and so” came and told me why they left. Many times, the person that was told the “why” (I use that very loosely) tells the person that left, they need to come talk to me. In almost 27 years of pastoral ministry, I could count on one hand (maybe) those that come back and talk to us.

God has one great concern: He wants peace restored. He wants peace between the brothers, and He wants peace within the church. The disturbance caused by two offending brothers is so damaging that God lays down very specific steps as to how the matter is to be handled; and if the sinning brother refuses to be reconciled and to rectify the wrong, God says the disturbance is not to be tolerated any longer.

There are three specific steps to be taken:

• Go to the brother alone and “tell him his fault.” This seems to indicate that he may not know that he has done wrong and offended us. If we do not go to him, he may never know or be able to correct his behavior. If he does know he has offended us and we do not approach him, then the breach remains, and the guilt of the sin continues. The division and damaging effects of the division can only grow and deepen.
  • Something else can happen: our own heart and mind can brood, be poisoned, become resentful, even bitter and grudging and revengeful. We desperately need to do all we can to resolve the matter.
  • He is to be approached alone. We are not to share the matter with anyone else, nor are we to openly rebuke him. This only deepens and hardens the feelings and division, causing bitterness and hostility.
  • Think what a different world this would be if this step alone was practiced by all: the difference in human relationships personally, nationally, and internationally; the difference in health emotionally and physically (ulcers, blood pressure, heart attacks, etc.).

• Go to the brother with witnesses. Some Christian brothers are stubborn; others are immature; still others are gripped by selfish and sinful motives and behavior. Therefore an offending brother may not be willing to be reconciled nor willing to admit his wrong. In such cases, one or two loving and wise brothers are to be taken with us to the offending brother. This act does several things.
  • It shows the brother that there is deep concern; a number of people do care and want to help.
  • It also shows that the offense is known by more than one or two people. At least several know.
  • It also provides objective and wise counsel between the two differing parties. Agreement and reconciliation are more likely to arise from this.
  • It helps to prevent bias, selfish reaction, and partial interest.

• If the first two steps do not work, then it is to be taken before the church body, for church discipline. This is a whole sermon and topic in and of itself, so let’s do the cliff notes version. Christ wants peace. If the brother will not allow reconciliation with the two steps above, this is a serious threat and danger to the church and must be brought before the body of the church for the matter to be resolved.
  • Taking a person’s behavior before the church, whether the church as a whole or some official committee of the church, is a very serious matter. It is as serious a matter as can be imagined. But what Christ is after must be kept in mind: Christ wants to keep the sin, division, and devastation from spreading and destroying the lives and testimonies of others.
  • Christ wants to keep the sin, division, and devastation from spreading and destroying the interest of the nearly saved, perhaps causing them to be lost forever.
  • Christ wants differences and divisiveness settled among His people and not by the world’s legal system of carnal or godless philosophies and arguments. The atmosphere of law settles nothing; it only produces more trouble and deeper feelings and rifts. Among God’s people, disputed relationships and differences are to be settled between the two involved persons alone. If that fails, then one or two loving and wise persons are to be called in. Then and only then, if these fail to settle the matter, is the matter to be taken before a number of official representatives from the church. This procedure is clearly the wish of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

• The final step, regardless of how the previous steps occur, is to bathe the matter in prayer. It is amazing, still to this day, how prayer changes a matter.
  • We must seek agreement about the matter.
  • We must seek God’s will and approval, making sure all is done according to God’s Will.
  • We must seek unity in Jesus’ name, not just human agreement, not just following human thoughts and rules for governing discipline.

If these steps are truly pursued, the Lord promises His presence in the decision made and in the correction of an offending brother.